Devotional Thoughts:

Disqualified: That’s how it felt. And for all the wrong reasons.

Christian … but not Christian enough.  

I’ve been walking frantic today. Feeling like I can’t catch up with all the things I need to be. Pilgrimage seems far away.

I’ve felt it coming at me before in That Look. In the judging eyes of others. In the questions they asked, as if they thought they had it all together.

Knowing nothing of my past. My present. My future. They made a resume of my faith to decide if I was acceptable.  

If my child was acceptable. 

Legalistic as Pharisees.

“If you listen long enough to all the loud voices about who you should be, you grow deaf to the beauty of who you are.”

~Ann Voskamp

Disqualified by God?

Thinking back…

There was the Christian school we applied to, looking down on my son for having one Christian parent and another whose faith was—shall we say—more of a moving target? No fault of my son’s. 

They acted like he might contaminate their students with faithlessness, without learning a thing about who he was or the role God might want them to play in his life.

And before we’d walked out the door, I knew I didn’t want him to be in that kind of environment. Because that’s not the love of Christ. It’s pride. Fear. Some bent version of faith I don’t want him to copy. 

But God looks at things differently. Sees them and us differently. Sees what we all miss: each of us lovingly made in the image of God.

And then I remember other voices speaking into the quiet places of my life: “The hand of God is on you.” Seeing something different. I never knew what the man meant by that, but I kept it like a blessing. I let that sink in.

Qualified, Against All Odds

AAnn Voskamp puts it in her devotional series… 

“What makes us feel the most disqualified for the abundant life is actually what makes us the most qualified.”

My mistakes. My brokenness. All the ways people have hurt me. My working-poor past that makes it hard for me to fit sometimes. None of them disqualify me. 

In the hands of God, those struggles become tools to shape me … make me able to see in others what pride or error might have kept me from seeing before:

The image of God in them. The light hidden behind smudged windows.

Because God doesn’t see as man sees.

And ultimately, there is nothing I can do to make myself or anyone else “qualified,” and nothing they can do to grant it. Nothing anyone can do will top God’s sacrifice for me.

Am I Christian enough? Am I good enough? What does that even mean?

We’re all on a journey, and we all have sinned.

Jesus doesn’t love me because I’m a good-enough Christian. I’m a good-enough Christian because he loves me. The love given, unconditionally, is what matters. The love we receive and then give to others.

I accept his gift. 

I am qualified.


Inspiration for the journey ...

The question behind everything: “Everyone is always asking only one thing: Will you love me?” In the mistakes we make. The damaging words. What we tolerate. It’s a journey toward love...

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